Gruy?re Guru: Is Modern Communication Ruining Your Relationship?

97% of the population have been dumped by someone, or been dumped?at some point in their lives - OK, I'm making that figure up, but it's got to be around that. Could even be higher... Anyway, the reason behind a high portion of those dumpings (I would bet my hat on) would be because of the reason; "We haven't had a proper conversation in ages" or "we don't talk anymore."
Now I would bet my other hat that this is was not a reason fifty years ago?- true, people tended to stay together back then because it was hard for people to divorce and wasn't seen as very PC to split, but my point is that I doubt that many couples split because they ran out of things to talk about.


The reason for this...because technology has changed so much.

Now when I talk about couples splitting up in the past, I'm talking about?the dating/courtship stage, or whatever happened back then.?If?you were apart?for a long period of time, or?had to go a few days without seeing each other, when you did get to see each other then you had?LOADS to talk about.


Today, however, is a completely different story. We have an array of?technology that allows?us to stay in constant?contact with someone. Texting,?Facebook, MSN, Skype,?telephone conversations etc. These devices allow us to speak to whoever we want whenever we want. Yes, this is good if we want to contact someone in an emergency, or to arrange something for later that day, but think about what it could be doing to your relationship.


People are no longer waiting in expectation to tell someone a story that happened to them that day. Straight after the incident has happened they can call said person, or even post it on Facebook, or Twitter it. This means that when the?couple meet face-to-face they have?less to talk about, because they have?already discussed it that day. If people are?kept in close proximity with each other for any?length of time, then?they find that things begin to grate as less is said.


I'm not saying that all relationships that end in the "We don't talk anymore" reason are solely down to modern technology - some couples do genuinely run out of things to talk about, whether this is because they don't do enough together, or one or both of them can't be bothered to make the effort to make conversation. I'm saying that modern communication can have negative effects on a relationship - it doesn't allow couples space to breath and take time away from each other to find things that they can talk about.


My best friend and I only talk to each other over the phone about once a week, if that sometimes. But when we do get down to talking, we can natter on for a good hour and even then we have to cut it off because either one of us has to go and do something. But?when I?was?going out with Exhibit A we?used to text each other when something?happened, then when we saw each other we didn't have anything to say really, because we had already said?it.


I hate talking over the phone and MSN and Facebook personally - I prefer face-to-face and even?video calling gives me the creeps. It's like the person is there, but they aren't. You?have their face in front of you, talking to you, but you can't?reach out and touch it like you?could if they were really there. ?

Anyway, yeah, modern communication. Sometimes it's best to take a step back from it, allow you and your partner a breather and then you can get back to talking when you see each other again. I can?guarantee it'll be a lot healthier for your relationship.

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